


Bonded, Not Broken

by Jaune_Chat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, M/M, Romance, Sexual Tension, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 16:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaune_Chat/pseuds/Jaune_Chat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where a touch reveals your soulmate, Steve Rogers, never frozen, thought he'd never find his perfect match.  Until the day he's fifty years old and held newborn Tony Stark in his arms.  Then he realized the man he'd been destined to love his whole life had just arrived.  But how in the world could they ever be together, with a half-century of years between them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonded, Not Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [a prompt at avengerkink:](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/15292.html?thread=33155772#t33155772) Soulmates are a thing that quantifiably exist. Soulmates are perfect~ ideal matches - mentally, sexually, personality-wise. All it needs for the bond to become 'active' is a single touch, is active as long as both are alive and while it's active it's very difficult for soulmates to stay away from each other or be romantically/sexually interested in anyone else.
> 
> Steve Rogers lived through the war. Like a lot of people he never really found his soulmate but that was okay, he had Peggy, until they didn't work out, but it's totally normal not to ever find your soulmate. He's good friends with Howard and so when Howard's son Tony is born, he gets named godfather. Only BAM! as soon as he holds the little baby is his arms -> instant soulbonding, the baby is his elusive soulmate.
> 
> And *this*? This is very very unusual. Soulmates are generally fairly close in age, or they meet as adults. (Steve was supposed to have gotten frozen and only defrosted later!) Even 10 years of an age-gap in soulmates is rare. But FIFTY years?! Godfather/godson?! And because this situation is literally unheard of, all laws/social rules/biological facts pretty much put Steve/Tony as the only option. 
> 
> What happens next?
> 
> Something a bit deliciously dark and porny. DSAU, ABO-AU, neither, eventual sex being underage or not, everything goes. I would love to Steve beating himself about this, and Tony being single-mindedly focused on Steve (and obviously, he wouldn't get why any of this is a problem!)
> 
> ** I would love to see Steve beating himself about this, and Tony being single-mindedly focused on Steve (and obviously, he wouldn't get why any of this is a problem!), Howard & Maria's and everyone's possible reactions.
> 
> But mostly Tony growing up always knowing what and who 50 years older Steve was to him. I would love Tony "POV" if possible.
> 
>  _Author Adds:_ The age of consent in Massachusetts is 16 years of age in our universe, but Tony's still awfully young and even though he'd soulbonded to Steve, I kept the underage warning for those for whom such a May/December relationship would disturb.

_Four years old_

Steve was the _best_. Tony was almost jumping out of his chair, going to the window every few minutes, clutching his little circuit board with sweaty hands as he waited for Steve to get there. Dad and Mom had liked the circuit board too, but it was Steve Tony couldn't wait to show it to. Mom didn't always understand what Tony was talking about, and Dad had gotten so _weird_ after Tony had shown him and begged him to be able to show it to Steve that Tony had just went to the living room to wait impatiently.

He wanted Steve to see it, wanted to hear what Steve would say, wanted Steve to put an arm around him and play with him and show him all the cool things Tony was building in the workshop next to his dad's bench. Steve would get it. Steve always got Tony.

But Steve didn't come over a lot. It seemed like forever between visits, but Tony had made himself go over to the calendar and carefully count the days, and it was once a month, and today was that day. Tony had begged his mom to let Steve come over more often once Dad had said no, and she'd shook her head so hard and looked so mad Tony didn't dare ask again.

There was a knock at the door and Tony wrestled it open so fast Steve still had his hand up to knock again. He was taller than dad with yellow hair and blue eyes and he was Tony's favorite thing in the world.

"SteveSteveSteveSteveSteve!" Tony yelled, throwing himself at Steve's knee and clinging tight, his circuit board momentarily forgotten. Steve froze at Tony's assault, then leaned down to lift him in his arms and spin him around, laughing. Tony giggled back as Steve put him on his shoulder, and leaned down to show Steve what he'd made.

"Look! I made it all myself!" Tony said proudly. "I wanted to show you."

Steve reached out and took it, his other hand keeping Tony steady, and gave Tony a big smile as he checked out Tony's creation and asked all the right questions. For a little while everything was great, just him and Steve, then Mom and Dad came out, and they were looking mad again.

Steve abruptly lifted Tony down, and Tony knew Mom was going to take his hand and pull him away and keep him by her side. He stubbornly resisted, clinging to Steve's leg so hard Dad had to pry him off. And then Dad was looking mad and Mom was looking sad and Steve... Steve was looking sad too.

"I wanna stay with Steve!" Tony declared, angry that he'd just barely gotten to see his best friend.

Steve went all pale, the way Mom did when she was sick, and looked down at the ground.

"I'm here, Tony. I'll always be here." 

But then Dad pulled Steve inside to the private office and Mom made Tony stay in the kitchen and eat lunch, and the only reason he did what she asked was because she kept rubbing at her eyes the way Tony did when he didn't want to cry.

\--

_Twelve years old_

"...can't keep doing this, Howard!" Steve was saying.

Tony smirked as he kept his ear pressed to the speaker. He might have more college credits than some college kids, and still be within a year or so of graduating high school, but his dad sometimes forgot that. He sometimes still looked at Tony and saw a scrawny, awkward kid whom puberty was making life miserable and forgot that Tony could get around certain restrictions in all kinds of creative ways. Like, say, never being allowed in the private office when Dad and Steve were in there.

That pissed Tony off. Steve was his godfather, hell, his very best friend, but half the time his parents seemed to treat him like a criminal. Every time he came over for his monthly visit, Steve barely got a chance to pull Tony in a hug that just made every fear and anxiety go away before Dad hauled him off to an hour-long meeting behind closed doors. And once Steve came out from those, he was always great (never less than great), asking about things Tony cared about, telling him fascinating stories about what he was doing in the army, but he always seemed so... Tony wasn't sure what to call it. He seemed a little sad, a little hesitant, like there was some secret he was holding back, something that only he and Dad and Mom knew, and none of them would talk about it.

Maybe it was a jealousy thing. Dad never let Steve visit Tony at boarding school, only under his supervision at home. And Steve, well, Steve looked a lot younger than Dad, even though he was only a couple years younger. It was from that medical procedure they’d done to Steve for the war, the one they vaguely mentioned to attempt to head off Tony’s too-perceptive questions about why his godfather looked to be more like Tony’s brother than someone in his dad’s generation. But nothing was enough to answer all the questions in Tony’s head, about why Dad respected Steve so much behind his back but wouldn’t let Tony see him more than once a month. He’d had infrequent but bitter arguments with his parents about that; Tony needed to see his best friend more than the hour or two at a time they were allotted, but Mom was silent on the issues and Dad was even more stubborn than him.

Fine, then Tony would figure it out himself. A bug in the vents had been easy enough to do, and Dad was always so wound up about Steve’s visits that he hadn’t noticed. Tony kept his ears open as the bug let him eavesdrop on what he’d wanted to hear for years.

“It’s not time to tell him,” Dad said. “Steve, it’s such a delicate time in his life…”

“You think I don’t know that?” Steve’s voice actually cracked, like Tony’s was doing all the time now, but he sounded like he was in agony. “God, do you have any idea what I’m going through, Howard? This is killing me not to tell him.”

“Steve.” Dad’s voice was sharp with disapproval, and Tony could hear Steve heave out a sigh, and knew exactly how his shoulders would be sagging. He needed to get in there to be with him, support him through whatever Dad was getting at, anything not to hear that sadness in Steve’s voice.

“I know.” Steve’s voice was raw. “There’s nothing I can do, I know that. He’s…”

“ _Twelve years old,_ ” Dad said firmly. 

“I _hate_ this, Howard. God damn it. God _damn_ it.” There was a thud, and Tony knew Steve had turned and punched something. He actually felt the floor shake under him and could hear the crash without the bug. “I want to be with him, but he’s… I feel like a pervert.”

Tony felt himself running hot and cold, gripping onto his bed with knuckles gone white, teeth jammed so hard together they hurt. Steve wasn’t… Steve wouldn’t ever hurt him. What the hell had Dad been telling him all these years to make him think that?

“Just wait until he’s of age, and then we can let him know. Six years, and then-.”

Steve barked out a short laugh that had no humor in it. “Howard, Tony’s a damn genius. He’s going to outstrip you one day, mark my words. If he hasn’t figured out what’s going on by now, it’s only because he doesn’t know it’s possible.”

“We didn’t know either,” Dad muttered.

“He’ll figure it out before he’s eighteen!” Steve said. “I’m trying my best, Howard, believe me. I don’t want to hurt him, I don’t want him to get tangled up in me before he figures out who he is. I…”

Dad hesitated a long minute. “Maybe it would be for the best if you took an overseas posting until Tony’s done with college.”

Tony thought his heart stopped. _No!_

“Are you trying to kill me?” Steve said, the anguish in his voice echoing what was in Tony’s heart and mind. “It’ll strain the bond, drive us both half-crazy! I can’t do it, Howard, I won’t.”

“If there was ever a time to see if distance would calm the intensity, it’s in this case.”

“I _tried!_ Every second I’m not with him I have tried! I keep myself on the opposite side of the country, I tried going to Europe, to Hawaii, to throwing myself into work, to trying to meet other people, Howard you _know_ that!”

“This is why we have these talks,” Dad said harshly. “You begged me to make sure I kept bringing this stuff up to you. You wanted me to be the bad guy so you didn’t end up doing anything you regret. I’m not bonded, Steve, but I met guys in the service who were, and when they got to swapping stories, I got a hell of an education in how intense it can feel. You wanted to make sure-.”

“I know.” Steve’s voice dropped to a ghostly whisper, thick with regret. “I know. Thank you.”

“An hour today, no more. Not with how you’re doing right now.”

“That’s… probably for the best.”

Tony heard the sounds of them getting drinks, but his mind was stuck on a single word. _Bond_. And what Steve had said, _didn’t know it was possible._

Tony shut his eyes and thought about Steve, his very best friend, the one person who made him feel better than anyone else with just a few words and a hug, who listened to him, whom he could listen to effortlessly for hours on end. Possible? Tony had to know.

He swung himself off his bed and ran downstairs. 

Steve was startled when Tony came crashing down the stairs like a herd of elephants and flung open the office door, but it was Howard who blanched when Tony threw himself into Steve’s arms for a welcoming hug, and then suddenly pulled back enough to kiss Steve full on the mouth. That always felt weird when any of his relatives did it, whenever his Mom kissed him good night, or his aunts kissed him at Christmas, but with Steve… Tony felt like he were melting, like his insides were on fire and he didn’t mind a bit, a hot, sweet rush filling every part of him, the wonderful smell of Steve in his nose and the taste of him on his tongue. Steve seemed stunned for only a split second before responding, matching and melding with Tony’s assault effortlessly, running his hands up Tony’s sides and holding onto his shoulders for dear life while they clung together.

All the stuff the health teacher had said in sex-ed about soulbonds suddenly made complete and absolute sense. Everything felt better, perfect, as long as Steve was there, always had been, and Tony never wanted to leave him again.

Steve abruptly firmed his grip on Tony’s shoulders and pushed him away, his mouth red and kiss-swollen as Tony’s own.

“Don’t,” Tony said, and tried to slip out of his grip to kiss again. Steve kept his hands hard and made him stay at arm’s length. Dad tried to pull Tony away, but the murderous glare Steve laid on him made him flinch away.

“Can’t,” Steve said breathlessly. “Tony, I love you, but I can’t. Not like this.”

“You’re mine, aren’t you?” Tony said, all the frustration in his life reaching a sudden answer. “You’re my bonded.”

Steve’s stern expression softened so much his grip slackened. Tony tried to get a little closer, just to put his arm around him, something, but Steve got his aplomb back.

“Yes, I’m yours. I touched you when you were just a day old, and I knew.” He smiled, proud and sad. “I had to stay away. It’s not right, Tony. You were too young to understand and then… I knew you’d understand before long but that you wouldn’t care as long as we could be together.”

Tony started to protest and stopped, biting his lip as he stopped trying to squirm closer to Steve. He could see the expression on Steve’s face, how afraid he was, could practically _feel_ how much Steve was holding back and not wanting to.

“Steve, please,” Tony said. “You’re my bonded; it’s like being married, right? Why can’t we… why do I almost never see you?”

“Your teachers told you about soulbonds. When do most people meet?”

“When they’re grown up,” Tony said, shrugging in impatience. He didn’t _care_ about other people right now, he just cared for the fact that he could feel something unfolding inside him, a knowledge and understanding that went straight beyond everything he’d learned and connected straight to Steve.

“When they’re grown up,” Steve said in agreement. “Sometimes they’re a couple years older than their bonded, and very rarely there are people who have an even bigger age gap. The biggest I ever heard was ten years.”

Tony felt a lump in his throat, agony and anguish, and knew it was coming from Steve, knew exactly what he was going to say.

“I’m sixty-two, Tony. I’m fifty years older than you. I’m old enough to be your father, your _grandfather_ , practically. I know I don’t look like it, but that’s how it is. You barely know who you are, and if we got too close… Tony, I could eat you alive. The bond could swallow you up-.”

Tony started to protest and Steve talked right over him.

“Swallow you up unless _you become as strong as I always knew you could._ ” Steve stared right at him, catching Tony’s eyes, pleading with him to understand. “Go to school, make some friends, learn those things you talk about that I’ll never be able to understand. Mess around with other people, learn what _you_ like, do something because you want to, not just because you think I’d like it too.”

Tony couldn’t quite catch his breath as Steve talked. If it hadn’t been for the longing in Steve’s eyes, the seeming-rejection might have been like a stab to the heart. But not with the confident strength in Steve’s hands on his shoulders, the pull on his soul that told him Steve would have rather cut off his arm than push him away.

“I want to keep seeing you,” Tony whispered. “I don’t _care!_ ”

“I will call you. Every day. I want to hear about what you’re doing. Even when you’re at college, I’ll call,” Steve promised almost recklessly. Howard shot him a stern glance, which Steve strenuously ignored. “But we can’t meet more often than this. I couldn’t… I couldn’t handle it. What you do to me, Tony, you have no idea.”

“Every day?” The delight of that was more than enough to make up, at least temporarily, the thought of knowing his soulmate was out there, but wouldn’t, couldn’t, be with him.

“Every day,” Steve confirmed. He dropped his head and nodded at some unseen signal.

Howard abruptly pulled Tony away from Steve and wrestled him to the door, Tony protesting and fighting every inch, and locked the door behind him.

“No, no! Steve, _Steve!_ Let me in! Dad, let me in, let me in, let me in!” Tony kicked and screamed at the door, and below his own cries could hear the soft, muffled, pained breaths of his soulmate as he tried to hold himself together.

\--

_Fourteen years old_

“I have no idea what you just said. You literally might as well have been talking in Greek,” Steve laughing.

“I’m talking circuitry, Steve. Refer to book four, page fifteen, paragraph 2-a for all jargon related to this conversation,” Tony said, phone tucked between his shoulder and ear as he put things away in his dorm room.

“I have a Tony encyclopedia by now. I think I’m up to volume twenty,” Steve said in amused wonder, and Tony could hear him flipping pages in the background. “Ah-HA! Got it. So… Holy crap, you could have electrocuted yourself!”

Tony grinned silently at the horror in his bondmate’s voice. He had to admit taking some perverse pleasure in horrifying Steve periodically, because otherwise he didn’t think he’d be able to pry Steve out of California more than twice a year. But with the vague idea that Tony was getting into some dangerous stuff on his mind, Steve would make his monthly trips whether he intended to no.

That was the only thing that was keeping them both sane. The daily conversations had helped, God, they helped _immensely_ , but the physical separation, the too-short meetings face-to-face, always with Dad or Mom as a chaperone, it wore on both of them. It didn’t matter what arguments Tony employed, what badgering or cajoling or wheedling or anything else he tried, it was never enough to extend a meeting with Steve beyond two hours, or to get Steve to stand up to his parents and claim him.

That had been their first real argument, the day after Tony had eavesdropped. Steve had called him like he’d promised, and Tony had been a damn wreck. He’d spent way too much time screaming at Steve, hormones in full swing, and even at the lofty and advanced age of fourteen, Tony knew that he’d been thinking with his heart and gonads, rather than his brain. Acknowledging the bond had done things to him, to both of them, and Tony hadn’t had time to think about what any of that meant to Steve.

It hadn’t been until almost a week later that Tony could think about it rationally, about what it might mean to be a half-century older than your bondmate, to have the hots for a _baby._ Damn, that had to have been just about the most awkward conversation ever between Steve and Dad once they’d realized what had happened.

But Tony wasn’t a baby anymore, wasn’t a kid. He knew who he was and what he wanted. 

And he wanted Steve, here, with him. To hell with what anyone else thought.

“Well, guess you’ll have to drop by and make sure I don’t hurt myself,” Tony teased.

“Tony… please don’t,” Steve said, his voice very quiet. “I’m due to be in town next week, and I’ll be there, you know it.”

Tony was quiet for several long minutes, taking the time to put away the last of his books, untangle the telephone cord, and flop on the bed. “This sucks,” he said finally.

“I know.”

There was so much raw sincerity in Steve’s voice that Tony shut his mouth on his next teasing comment. Steve wasn’t staying away to punish him, even if it felt like it sometimes. This hurt them both ways.

“Tell me something,” Tony said instead.

“What?”

“Anything. Anything about you.”

Steve chuckled. “First you tell me about that robot again now that I have my book out in front of me.”

Tony complied, waxing eloquent about DUM-E as Steve rapidly flipped pages to keep up, and then settled back against his pillow as Steve caught him up on what he’d been doing when Tony had been born. All of it was fascinating, from Steve growing up in Brooklyn, to helping Dad after the war with his super-secret government projects, to training soldiers to fight like Captain America, to leading missions all around the world. There was only one thing Steve avoided, and that was whatever had been done to him to keep him so young-looking. And Steve had sworn he would tell Tony one day. Just… not this day.

It wasn’t until the light had dimmed and Tony’s stomach was growling that he realized they’d been on the phone for hours. And he still didn’t want to hang up.

“Go get food,” Steve urged, when he actually managed to overhear Tony’s gut voice its complaint. “Go find that robot club after and pound them over the head with your technical genius. I’ll be here to hear all the news afterwards.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

\--

_Fifteen and a half_

“I want to confess, I nearly sabotaged your car so you couldn’t leave last week,” Tony said, stretching out on his bed luxuriously. It was very late at night, and Steve was down in D.C. after his visit, so at least they were in the same time zone for this call.

“If my car wouldn’t start, I know it would have been you.”

“That’s why I didn’t do it. Wasn’t worth seeing you all flustered.”

“More worth it to see you that way.”

Tony’s eyes fluttered shut at the slightly suggestive tone in Steve’s words, that bare innuendo better for him than a year and a half of covert learning and watching his older classmates through their own attempts at sex. It wasn’t like Tony had been a total creeper or anything, but if people were going to make out in the common room, he had no compunction about watching and taking notes. If they didn’t shut their doors, Tony listened and learned, just to get a leg up on what he wanted to do. He’d done a little exploration himself, but the bare thought of letting anyone else touch him like that left him cold. 

And for all the things he’d seen, none of it revved his motor like Steve, even if he wasn’t even trying.

“Doesn’t take much,” Tony said, letting his voice go rough and fighting the urge to palm himself. He knew now how much his teasing cost Steve, the self-recrimination Steve put himself through to not immediately hop on the nearest plane to take him right then and there. He didn’t like it, but for Steve’s sake he’d tried to be good these past couple years. Though lately either Steve had started to crack, or had finally begun to listen.

“Tony…”

“I love you,” Tony whispered, feeling a hot rush through his loins, hardening his cock and making his ass slick and ready. 

“I love you,” Steve repeated, his voice roughening. There was a long pause of heavy breathing, and Steve spoke again in a low, urgent tone, “Tony, are you-?”

“I’m hard just thinking of you,” Tony said.

Steve swore in four different language, and that just managed to make Tony even hotter. He’d been trading tutoring for lessons in French and Italian to surprise Steve, but hadn’t expected it to have such an immediate payoff. But even so…

“Sorry,” Tony said, trying to make his voice sound normal.

“No. Don’t be. It’s… we’re close, Tony. Soon, I swear.”

Tony blinked, biting his lip at Steve’s unexpected capitulation. “Why?”

Steve hesitated, and spoke. “Will you wait for me?”

Tony took his hand away from himself, feeling all of Steve’s frustrated love resonated through the bond they shared. 

“You never asked me that before.”

“I should have asked you a long time ago. I was so afraid of hurting you, of- of hurting myself.”

“You could never hurt me,” Tony said. And that wasn’t blind faith, or unconditional love. That was fact. He concentrated hard and focused on that belief, needing Steve to see him as Tony did, as the best friend and companion, there from Tony’s first day. Steve gasped a little, just a hint of indrawn breath.

“Tony, you saw those pictures of me when I was a kid?”

Tony felt an unexpected bolt of elation, that Steve would finally share the one last important part of himself he’d kept hidden.

“String bean,” Tony said, smiling, remembering pictures he’d seen in Steve’s scrapbook.

“I was sick. Asthma, bad heart, had had every bug that ever went around…” Steve talked fast, like the words were just waiting to tumble out of him. How much he’d wanted to fight alongside his friend Bucky, how much he’d desired to do his part. Five tries to get in, all rejected, until Dr. Erskine had found him. How he’d proved himself, gotten chosen, how Dad and Dr. Erskine had made Steve how he was today, tall and strong and superhuman - made him into Captain America. How he’d used that to fight against the shadow-army of HYDRA and help turn the tide of the war.

“Hey, hey!” Tony said, when Steve’s voice started to get a little too frantic towards the end of his story. “It’s okay. It’s all right. Thank you for telling me. I just… I never knew how you got from string bean to stud. It’s cool.” He smiled into the phone. “I want to know everything about you. And I knew you’d fought. I knew that, Steve.”

Steve heaved a sigh of relief into the phone, and Tony ached to be able to touch him, to reassure him. “I just-. That day in Brooklyn completely changed my life. I don’t know if it messed me up in some way…”

“I don’t know why I was born so late,” Tony said. “But _I love you_ , Steve. Everything about you.”

“Me too,” Steve said softly. “Tony… tell me?”

There weren’t any words for what Steve wanted to ask, but Tony understood anyway.

“When I’m sixteen, I want you. On my birthday, come up here, we’re gonna sign the damn paperwork, and we’re going to be together, you hear me?”

“Yes.” Only one word. And all the emotion in the world.

\--

_Sixteen years old_

They couldn’t stop kissing. Sixteen years of separation and they couldn’t stop kissing.

Every time Tony meant to stop, to pull back enough to tug at their shirts or pants, or hell, even get their socks off, he kept getting pulled back in to Steve’s mouth. He wanted to know every way to kiss him, every way that turned him on, from the frantic, almost painful clash of lips and teeth that had sent the wedding official skittering from the room out of a sense of self-preservation, to the butterfly-soft little pecks that seemed to drive Steve crazy, made him grab Tony hard and pull him against him. The clothed grind of their erections and the touch of their lips and hands was more than enough to set Tony off, aided by the incredible emotional rush of relief and desire coming from Steve.

He might have felt kind of embarrassed, if Steve hadn’t just moaned into his mouth like Tony was the hottest thing he’d ever felt and manage to work one hand under Tony’s shirt to skim along his side. That felt good; _everything_ felt good, especially Steve’s lips on him, his skin on him, sixteen years of denial blossoming together. Tony moaned softly as he finally managed to get a hand on Steve’s shirt and tug at it ineffectually.

It was Steve who found the willpower to break them apart long enough to get the shirts off of them, but it was Tony who froze at the sight of Steve, huge and muscular, solid and golden. _Acres and acres and it’s mine, all mine!_ Tony thought gleefully, and leaned forward to tip Steve down on the bed, needing his mouth on that vast expanse of smooth skin.

“Tony… Tony, God, what you’re doing to me…” Steve groaned in something that almost sounded like pain.

“Ought to feel what _you_ do to me,” Tony challenged, and shoved a hand down to awkwardly maneuver his pants off his body, giving Steve full access to everything he had. Those big hands, warm and marvelously sure, trailed down his ribs and hips like he couldn’t believe he had permission to touch, touch that Tony actively, avidly encouraged. They settled over the curve of Tony’s ass, and idly traced through the faint moisture there.

“Oh God,” Steve whispered, sounding almost afraid. But his hands were uncommonly bold, slipping two thick fingers inside Tony to feel the heat and clench of his body, to enjoy the cry Tony made. Only men who’d soul-bonded had their glands activate like this, giving them a way to be intimate, close, without having to rely on the more elaborate preparations of unbonded male couples. Steve didn’t have to ask if Tony liked it, not with his pleasure radiating down their bond, but looked at him in wonder nevertheless.

“Good, so good. Lemme touch you, too,” Tony pleaded, suddenly-clumsy fingers fumbling at Steve’s pants. Steve helped him shed the rest of their clothing, and Tony took a moment to marvel at the work of art that was his bondmate’s body. Steve Rogers might have been sixty-six years old, but looked half that, and a really good half to boot. Tony had always loved Steve for his mind and heart, but the physical package did not hurt one miniscule bit, no sir.

Tony glided his hand down Steve’s thigh, feeling the familiar warm slickness under his fingers, and paused as Steve looked at him a little wildly, still turned on, but uncertainty plastered all over his face. Tony blinked once, and got it.

“You never tried…?” Tony said incredulously.

Steve looked sheepish. “Tony, it’s only been sixteen years for me. It’s new and I never…”

Whereas Tony had never been without it, not once in his life. “Let me show you something amazing,” he nearly purred. Steve might know what to do to him, but on himself? This time Tony could show him the way. Steve was actually shaking when Tony breached him, arching and driving himself down against Tony’s hand with amazing strength.

“Tony, in me. Please, now!” Steve pleaded, setting his feet, tilting his hips, the needy rush so strong it almost bowled Tony over. Almost. Because in that need was something a little darker, something that had no place here with them.

“Stop feeling guilty,” Tony admonished. “Try it on for size.”

“Natural state,” Steve gasped. He thrashed his head from side-to-side and closed his eyes, reaching for control.

And Tony did the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. He sat back and stopped touching Steve.

Steve jerked upright as Tony’s own confusion and determination cut through their mutual desire, and reached out for his bondmate with both arms. With a sigh, Tony settled against him, the naked curves of their bodies finding some symmetry together, the heat between them settling down to a simmer.

“I can handle it,” Tony said in Steve’s ear. “Don’t you go taking on everything on yourself because you think I’m going to break.”

Steve’s big hands flowed over Tony’s body, huge against his smaller frame, and Tony returned the favor, pressing his clever hands to Steve’s boundless planes of muscle.

“I don’t know how,” Steve whispered. “I want you so badly, I’ve wanted you for so long, and I don’t know how to let go. This is… I have fifty years to unlearn.”

“And I’ve got none,” Tony said, and dismissed his fear as easily as kissing Steve again. “I’m a fast learner. We’re supposed to figure this out _together_ , bondmate.” He blinked and chuckled at himself. “Look at me being the mature one.”

Steve didn’t quite stifle a laugh in return, which set Tony off again, and soon the two of them were laughing in each other’s arms over and over again.

When they finally died down, Steve took both of Tony’s hands and looked him right in the eyes.

“Tony, I’m Steve Rogers, and I’ve loved you since the day you were born.”

Tony gripped his hands hard in return. “Steve, I’m Tony, and I’ve loved you all my life.”

Steve pulled them into another kiss, this one slower and a little more heated, their hands slowly roving over each other’s bodies, exploring slowly and carefully.

“I still love you now,” Tony said, breath hitching as Steve let his desire resonate between them, the heat and passion rising again, this time with less of the dark edge of guilt. They might never be rid of it, but it was a much lesser thing as Tony let their bond ring with shared emotion.

“Me too,” Steve said, and pulled Tony to him, never wanting to let go. And now never having to.


End file.
